Saturday, February 19, 2011

#2 in the "Coping with Failure" series.

So it seems I shall not be performing in Poland.

Now, before any of you give me "advice," yes, I know actors don't get the job most of the time. But when you talk about it everyday; when it's the only thing you can think of; when you lock yourself in your room everyday just to prepare; when you see this role as the one thing to save you from this debilitating loneliness; it hurts. A lot. Then you start to loathe yourself. Then you start to loathe the human race. Before you know it, you're just hiding in the room you hate so very much.

Earlier in the day, when I still had an once of hope (and restless legs), I went for a walk. It was very cold and very cloudy. But I did feel somewhat peaceful. The park actually felt like home. 

Upon returning home, I immediately took out my wacom and drew this. It didn't keep me from suppressing my feelings. Hell, I need to clean up the tear streaks on my tablet. But this gave me something to do.

Now, for the picture itself, I once again like/loathe it. Painter isn't my strong suit. But overall, I think this isn't too bad. Though the sky ruins it for me. Ahhh I don't know...

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